The Curated Shelf: The Oxytocin Factor, by Kerstin Uvnäs Moberg
Feb 11, 2025
Verdict: Keep!
The Oxytocin Factor: A Book That Changes Lives
I’ll never forget Janine. She was the first client to whom I loaned my copy of The Oxytocin Factor by Dr. Kerstin Uvnäs Moberg. She was a new mom and was overwhelmed. When I met her, she was exhausted, teary-eyed, and unsure of herself. Her baby wasn’t latching well. Her breasts and body hurt. Her nights were spent pacing the living room, bouncing a fussy baby while trying to keep herself from falling apart. She was also used to being in control and things going as she imagined.
She had a baby carrier. Wasn’t using it. And I was there to help her find her footing. (Her words.) As I watched her struggle, I knew she needed breathing space and to trigger the ‘Calm and Connection’ cycle. I had worked with her while she was expecting and knew she would be open to ‘proof’ for why she needed to create the space so she and her baby could find their rhythm, their new normal. I was a tad hesitant to offer her a book to read during this state, but I thought she might welcome it. “May I offer a suggestion? A book,” I said, “that I think will help you understand what’s happening—not just with Emily, but with you, too.”
“I don’t know, I don’t seem to have time to read now, but maybe drop it by,” she said. A week later, she sent me a message: “Ok, I started the book. Thank you!”
About This Book
The Oxytocin Factor is one of the most impactful books I’ve ever read. Written by Dr. Kerstin Uvnäs Moberg, a Swedish scientist and physician (and Mom!), it explores the incredible role of oxytocin—the so-called “love hormone”—in fostering connection, reducing stress, and promoting healing.
Dr. Moberg’s work is a perfect balance of science and heart. The book is approachable, never condescending, and provides profound insights into the human experience of bonding and caregiving. It’s as relevant for a sleep-deprived parent like Janine as it is for a professional supporting new families.
Key Themes and Insights
- Oxytocin as the Bonding Hormone
Oxytocin is essential for connection. It strengthens the bond between parent and baby, particularly during breastfeeding, skin-to-skin contact, and even babywearing. Beyond parenthood, it fosters trust, calm, and connection in all human relationships. - The Stress-Regulating Power of Oxytocin
Oxytocin counters stress hormones like cortisol and vasopressin, helping both baby and caregiver find calm during challenging moments. It creates a “calm and connect” response that supports emotional resilience and reduces anxiety. - Healing and Physical Health
Oxytocin supports physical healing, lowers blood pressure, and strengthens the immune system. It reminds us that emotional well-being and physical health are deeply intertwined. - Modern Life’s Oxytocin Deficit
Dr. Moberg reflects on how a modern, fast-paced life reduces opportunities to foster oxytocin through connection, touch, and nurturing relationships. She advocates for creating intentional moments of closeness to reclaim the balance. - Practical Applications
Babywearing and mindful touch are simple ways to increase oxytocin in everyday life, making it easy to apply the lessons from this informative book.
How This Relates to Babywearing Consultants
As a babywearing consultant, I see the principles in The Oxytocin Factor come to life every day. Babywearing, for instance, is one of the simplest and most effective ways to foster oxytocin:
- It’s literal physical closeness. And that strengthens the caregiver-baby bond.
- That connection helps regulate the dyad’s stress levels, creating a sense of calm and security.
- By encouraging proximity and connection, it supports the physiological functioning of the dyad and jumpstarts their communication.
- It also encourages the extended holding necessary for these outcomes.
For consultants, understanding the basic science of oxytocin is invaluable. It helps us explain one of the “whys” behind babywearing to new parents. It’s not just about convenience—it’s about building a foundation of connection and trust that benefits both baby and caregiver.
Dr. Moberg’s insights are a tool we can share with clients like Janine, empowering them to see their role as caregivers not as something to “get right” but as a journey of mutual support and growth.
My Personal Connection
Reading The Oxytocin Factor all those years ago was transformative. It gave me a language to describe what happened to my children and me and what I saw happening in the families I supported. Later, when I invited her to speak at the Bond Conference, I had the privilege of meeting Dr. Moberg; her warmth and passion for her work only deepened my respect for her.
This book remains a cornerstone in my professional library, and it’s a gift I share often with friends and clients alike. Whether you’re a parent, a grandparent, or someone working with new families, this approachable book just might change your thoughts about caregiving, bonding, and connection.
For Parents, Professionals, and Beyond
If you’re navigating sleepless nights or supporting others who are, The Oxytocin Factor is a must-read. It’s a guide to understanding the quiet magic of caregiving and a reminder of the profound ways we’re wired for connection.
